Confessions of a confused mind !

Since past few weeks confusion has become my middle name. My own behaviour has become hard to comprehend for myself. I have become far too despondent and far too quite for my own liking. The recent run of events have not helped either. These are some of the incidents and events which has left my mind confused, anxious etc etc

Confusion 1:: What can I do?
The Mumbai attacks have somewhere down in my subconscious mind has left a big scar. I want to do something for my city, for my country but do not know what to do. I feel like a helpless asshole, akin to a child in a striptease club.

Confusion 2: Am I not Employable?
Placement season has commenced in my institute and with due respect to my batchmates who have been placed, I genuinely feel I should have been placed by this time. Although only 20% batch has been placed, I believe my name should have been there, but the wait has just increased. It is a test of patience for a man not known for being patient.

Confusion 3: Does friendship last the distance?
Three of my good friends have just got married and a couple of them will be getting soon. Iam elated and really happy for them but I also know for the fact that I wont get too much time to spend with these friends. Two of the three are female friends and it makes all the more difficult for me to even meet them. Life changes after marriage with added responsibility and friends may not occupy important place in that life. Will it be difficult to maintain old friendships after marriage, I wonder?

Confusion 4: What is the purpose of my life?
I realize for the fact that everything is ephemeral in life. We study hard to get a good job, work hard to get a good salary and eventually a good spouse, love to get love in return. We buy the best of clothes to look good and make an impression, buy the best house to have a comfortable life.

We want wealth, we work day and night to earn, earn and earn more. Then one day death comes and we depart naked from this earth and whatever wealth we have acquired we leave it for someone who has never worked for it.

We study to gain knowledge, to gain intelligence so that world thinks that we are next Einstein in making, so that companies can hire us based on our so called knowledge and intelligence and what happens after some years, both wise man and fool wind up in grave before both are forgotten.

We love with all our passion and might so that we get love in return and we do get it in some cases. After some years both the lovers bite the dust and return to the mother earth. Do love stories live forever?

So why have we come to this earth, when everything one day will be destroyed and long forgotten. I am hoping that I get my answers sooner than later. Till then Iam trying to enjoy my confusions, atleast my mind is thinking !!!!